So Lately, no, not just lately but for quite a while, I haven't been sure what my role in life is to be. that would make on ponder about it and knowing something ought to be done about it. I knew some directions that I needed to go but wasn't sure how of if I wanted to go to that direction. Its really Im hung up on focusing expectations and those usually don't meet those expectations because of a lack of endurance and mostly faith. So I'm talking to a friend of mine that I needed to ask her something else anyway, and i brought up about some life directions for me. Even though a person knows what needs to happen to make life work, its always good, at least for me, to hear from another person. So this morning I sent this person a thank you email for our talk yesterday and it was at first going to be a simple thank you for listening but I, not planning to, continued to type about what I discovered in the last 12 hours and want to share it:
Hi,
Just wanted to again, thank you for your words and listening. I know you had more on your plate than to listen to Lance's issues but I really appreciate it. So last night I was pacing, got the bible out and really couldn't focus and nothing was popping in front of me. ( sorry, im sort of tied up in this need something right now - instantaneous world, I know I need to quit it). So I went to the next best thing is digital podcasts (sort of like audio books if you didn't know) and i go to iTunes and start searching in the spiritual section to see if anything interests me. I see names that I recognize and know about; Joel Osteen, Joyce Meyer, TD Jakes, Max Lucodo, etc. I come across a name I didn't know and with no cause to do it I click the name of Chip Ingram and the title of a series he is talking about is titled how to re-build a broken world. So that sort of interested me and I would click on the audio and see what he has to say. He starts out in defining a broken world. Its really what I think is broken and do I really know what is broken and if it even broken at all. So yes, that had me thinking and asking what really is broken. He goes on throughout the series of talks to talk about quit asking God why but ask What. Also to learn endurance. THis morning was the first time in a long time I woke up around 7am got dressed and worked on what needs to be done rather than laying in bed with the blanket over my head till 10-11 am, upset that there is no other drama and I am going to have to delt with Lance today, then wonder to work. So not sure why I picked that audio to listen to but the more the audio continued the more I "LISTENED" to the words for the first time and knowing the relationship of God needs to be a thing for me. I don't want to call it an awakening or a light switch that hit me because I know there is alot more than just being excited to be alive and knowing God probably does care, today, I just don't want to be lost and angry and hate people anymore. I want to be a good guy for myself and for others, just not sure hows its going to turn out and how to be that way. Anyway, thanks for listening again, and wanted to update you how I stayed up half the night doing!!!
God Bless
